The biggest secret to not only preventing relationship meltdown but also re-igniting passion and love is to recognize that judgment and blame are the things that you need to get rid of.

Until you have released the need for judgment, you will always have it reflected back to you in your relationships. This is one of the main causes of stress. All too often we assume that we know what others mean by what they say or do without bothering to gain a clear understanding of what’s really going on. Inevitably this leads to a breakdown in communication and conflict.

Stress management techniques for relationships

The biggest secret to stress free relationships is to master the skill of being agreeable! If you think about it just for a moment this makes a lot of sense. How did you feel the last time someone disagreed with what you though, said or did?

Did you thank them, give them a big hug and then ask for more disapproval? Probably not! The bottom line is that people don’t like being disagreed with. This is what leads to arguments and conflict.

You have a choice every time you relate with another person. You can either be agreeable in nature or you can be disagreeable. The first choice will cause people to be more relaxed and enjoy your company. The second creates stress and frustration.

It costs nothing to agree with someone else’s point of view even if you think it’s ridiculous. Who are we to judge how another person views their life and the world around them. Conflict always arises from disagreement’s which then leads to power struggles.

This means that either one or all parties are trying to prove that they are right and someone else is wrong. This is a no win scenario because if one person is made wrong, then the outcome is tension and resentment.

So what do you do if you disagree with what someone is saying? Ask if it’s ok to share your opinion. If the answer is no then to keep your relationships stress free keep your mouth shut. Changes topics if you need to or go do something fun together but let it go and move on.

The next secret to effective stress management in relationships is to master the skill of understanding.

The key here is to learn to be a good listener. Can you remember a time recently when you were talking with someone and they either interrupted you before you finished talking and started talking about themselves or completely ignored what you said and talked about something totally unrelated?

I know that’s happened to me thousands of times. Well guess what, if you didn’t like it I can guarantee you that others won’t like it if you do it to them.

By listening attentively to what others say and not interrupting you will prevent the possibility of causing stress and tension in your relationships because the people you are communicating with will feel seen and heard.

This builds trust and respect which are two of the most important ingredients of a happy, healthy and productive relationship.

Here are 4 stress management tips to master the skill of understanding:

• Don’t interrupt unless you have something urgent to attend to. Then excuse yourself politely and make a time to meet with them that you can give your undivided attention.
  
• Look them in the eye and keep your body language open.
  
• Only ask questions that are relevant to the topic. This lets the person who is talking know that you are really listening to them.
  
• Never assume you know what someone means, always ask for clarity before sharing you’re opinion. Don’t be afraid to keep asking questions until you are 100% sure about what is being said.

The best time to seek to be understood is only after you have taken the time to first understand them. Then they are more receptive to what you have to say.

This skill is one of the most important in building good bonds between people that are stress free. There is nothing more powerful than letting others know that they matter.

Happy, healthy and stress free relationships are no accident. They are skillfully developed over time by people who care about people.

These secrets will only work if you apply them. The more you apply them the greater the stress relief you’ll have in relationships. I know this for a fact because they have been working for me for more than 15 years.

To Your Great Life and Health,

When finances become strained it puts tremendous strain on your health, happiness relationship and peace of mind. In fact, it’s one of the biggest reasons that couples get divorced today.

Here are some handy tips to keep your cash flow high, keep your life in balance and enjoy long-term stress relief from financial pressure.

Spend Less Money Than You Make.

If you make $1000 per week then learn to live off $700 (70%) and save the rest. When you have saved enough then invest your savings in something that will help you build long term wealth (i.e. property).

Get Out of Debt

Do everything you can to not get into consumer debt. If you can’t afford to pay cash for something you want, then save up for it until you can buy it outright.  You’d be amazed how little money you can get by with if you stay out of debt.

Stick to a Budget

Do up a budget so that you know exactly how much money you need each week to get by on and then stick to it like glue. If you must treat yourself to items that you really don’t need then make sure you pay cash for them. Otherwise forget about it until you can afford to buy it. This includes treats and luxury items.

See a Financial Adviser

If you don’t have a financial plan for the future then you’re doing yourself and your family a great disservice. Wealth rarely happens overnight. Without a plan your finances are left to the fate of the Gods and your spending habits. Who knows where that will get you.

Increase Your Financial Knowledge

It’s like anything in life if you want to improve you have to learn new skills and then practise them. While it’s good to seek professional advice about finances it’s even better to learn how to do it yourself. There’s a ton of books available written by people who have already mastered financial success. The more you learn the less anyone can cheat you from your hard earned cash.

Live a Life of Prosperity Thinking

You either think in terms of lack or prosperity. Whichever you give the greater focus to is what you will attract into your life. Catch your limited or negative thoughts about money and then replace them with thoughts of abundance.

Here’s an affirmation that helped me through some tough financial times and took me from earning $20 per hour to $200 per hour in just 6 months; “I love money, money loves me and I am a money magnet!”

Final Thoughts on Money and Stress Relief

One of the most valuable commodities you have is time. Some people have plenty of time and little or no money to enjoy their life with while others have tons of money and little or no time. The real secret to living a relaxed lifetsyle is to have the balance of plenty of time and plenty of money.

To Your Great Life and Health…

There’s a ton of material already available on how to maximize your time and get more done each day through setting priorities, being more organized and planning for the future so let’s look at some more left-of-field strategies that’ll give you an even better opportunity to gain back precious time and energy while giving long-term stress relief.

Stress Management Tips to Save Time and Energy 

Waste Not, Want Not

We all have the same 24 hours a day at our disposal. The difference is how wisely you use it. Why waste a precious second on something that has no value or meaning in your life? The more you choose to use the time you do have that’s brings you joy and fulfilment, the more satisfying your life will be.

Live Each Moment Fully

What do you think is going to matter most when you’re laying on your deathbed looking back over your life? Will it be how many sales you made at work? Or how clean you kept your house? Or how many things you didn’t get done? Probably not! Make each moment count as you never know when your last moment will be.

Don’t Forget to Take Time-Out Each Day

No matter how busy or hectic your life gets it’s vital that you give yourself 5, 10 or 20 minutes a day just being with yourself. This time allows you to reflect on your day and do whatever it is that brings you joy or helps you to relax. Relaxation techniques that progressively relax the muscles of your body while calming your mind are well worth investing time in.

Stop Telling Yourself You Don’t Have Enough Time

The more you affirm what you don’t have, the more you will attract it into your life. One of life’s laws is that what you focus on you get. So when you focus on what you don’t have, you will have even less in the future. Instead, start affirming that you have an abundance of time and energy to get everything done that matters.

Stop Wearing a Watch

Put away your watch for the next seven days in either a cupboard or dresser.  I did this for a period of three months and by the end of this time my internal clock had me waking up in the morning, getting to appointments and being where I needed to be in perfect timing. At first, this may stress you out a little but after 7 days you’ll experience a deep sense of freedom at not having to be a clock watcher all the time.

A Stress Management Saying From The Wise

A wise man once said that money may come and go. If you lose your money, you can always make it back, but when you lose a minute, it’s gone forever. To live a life without regret is to know that you have followed the path of your heart and spirit without hesitation.

Don’t waste another moment letting the apparent lack of time be the reason you live a life of stress and anxiety. Stress is the biggest killer on the planet and you have the power to get rid of the majority of your stress just through learning some simple stress relief techniques to enjoy a happier, healthier, relaxed and more productive life.

To Your Great Life and Health,

Resentment is something to be avoided at all costs. The reason being that resentment eventually turns into bitterness. Bitterness is a toxic emotion that eats away at you from the inside turning everything it touches into decay.

Effective Stress Management Techniques for Resentment

The other thing to know about resentment is that it is really unexpressed anger. Whenever you say ‘yes’ when you mean ‘no’ there’s two kinds of anger taking place; The first is you  blame the other person for forcing you to do something you really don’t want to and the second is you get angry with yourself for compromising your personal integrity.

The second form of anger is much harder to recognize because most people get stuck on blaming others for trying to control them. The fact is that no-one can ever control you unless you allow them to so this excuse can be dropped immediately.

Once this has been dropped it becomes apparent that you are really only hurting yourself and your self respect when you give others the power to control you. There are anger management techniques that you can apply to transform anger into calmness but here's the fastest way to drop it.

The answer – stop doing it!

Yes, it may be challenging at first to say ‘no’ to others who are used to getting their own way around you because that means they have to accept that you are an individual with the right to make your own choices.

You have the right to say 'no' whenever you choose.

While you think that this is the way most people think about themselves the sad reality is that it is the exception rather than the norm. Why? Because we are condtioned from birth to 'do as we are told'  or risk being punished. Then to avoid the pain opf being judged or abused we learn that submission is the path of least resistance. The price  - the needs of others become more important than your own needs.

The bottom line is that you have spent most of your life training others how to treat you. If you don’t like the way you’re being treated then it’s time to re-train them. By saying 'yes' when you mean 'no' you’ve trained people to believe that you are a push-over and you are there to serve their needs.

Instant Stress Relief from years of giving your power away to others just from one word!

Just by changing one word that you speak the message you send out to those very same people is that your time and needs are important to you. This is so liberating, so energizing, healing and self-empowering that even after applying this just once you’ll experience an immediate rush of energy, confidence and power flowing through your body.

Do you always have to say 'no' to others? Of course not, only when you absolutely mean it. You’ll know if you don’t want to say 'yes' because the moment you say it you’ll feel annoyed. If that happens then have the courage to let the other person know that you mean 'no' immediately.

To your Great Life and Health,

Michael

But wait there’s more… The benefits of laughter actually go deeper than we realize.  There are several reactions within your body that occur when you laugh and they all directly help with Stress Relief and the release of tension.

Laughter is more than a Stress Relief Technique

Dr. Lee Burk has been researching the effects of laughter on the body.  To this moment their published research has shown that laughter lowers blood pressure, reduces stress hormones, increases muscle flexion, and boosts the immune system. Even more interesting is that Laughter creates a state opposite to stress in your body … in other words … laughter creates healthy or positive emotions and is a great method of Natural Stress Relief

Other benefits of laughter include:

·        Increased aerobic activity which gives your diaphragm a work-out and increases your body’s ability to circulate oxygen.

·        An increase in positive emotions that can assist in the fight of disease.

·        Reduction of stress hormones including epinephrine, cortisol, dopac, and growth hormone.

·        Improved and strengthened immune system.

·        Improved blood pressure.  This seems to have a more noticeable effect in women.

·        The cleansing of your lungs and respiratory system.  When you laugh you empty your lungs and breathe fresh air into your respiratory system.

Turn that Frown Upside Down

In 1931 a team of scientists discovered that it takes 50 Muscles to frown and only 13 Muscles to smile.  After reading this I came to realize 3 solid conclusions; Scientists really do have far too much time on their hands, it is far easier to be cheerful than to be grumpy and you will use less energy if you view your day from a happy perspective.

List things that can trigger your anger

Make a list of the things that often set off your anger (for example, running late for work and getting stuck in a traffic jam, your teenager leaving not helping out around the house or a co-worker blaming you for something you didn't do). If you know ahead of time what makes you angry, you may be able to avoid these things or do something different when they happen.

Pay attention to the warning signs of anger in your body

Notice the things that happen to your body that tell you when you are getting angry (for example, a pounding heart, flushed face, sweating, tense jaw, tightness in your chest or gritting your teeth).The earlier you can recognize these warning signs of anger, the more successful you will probably be at calming yourself down before your anger gets out of control.

Find anger management techniques that work for you

There are a number of different ways of managing anger and some strategies will suit you better than others. Here’s some simple ways to put an end to the vicious cycle of stress that anger can bring:

Control your thinking
 
When you're angry, your thinking can get exaggerated and irrational. Try replacing these kinds of thoughts with more useful, rational ones and you should find that this has an affect on the way you feel. For example, instead of telling yourself "I can't stand it, it's awful and everything's ruined," tell yourself "It's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it." Psychologists call this type of thinking "self talk."

Develop a list of things to say to yourself before, during and after situations in which you may get angry. It is more helpful if these things focus on how you are managing the situation rather than what other people should be doing.

Before:

"I'll be able to handle this. It could be rough, but I have a plan."

"If I feel myself getting angry, I'll know what to do."

During:

"Stay calm, relax, and breathe easy."

"Stay calm, I'm okay, s/he's not attacking me personally."

"I can look and act calm."

After:

"I managed that well. I can do this. I'm getting better at this."

"I felt angry, but I didn't lose my cool."

Take time out

If you feel your anger getting out of control, take time out from a situation or an argument. Try stepping outside the room, or going for a walk. Before you go, remember to make a time to talk about the situation later when everyone involved has calmed down. During time out, plan how you are going to stay calm when your conversation resumes.

Use distraction 

A familiar strategy for managing anger is to distract your mind from the situation that is making you angry. Try counting to ten, playing soothing music, talking to a good friend, or focusing on a simple task like polishing the car, doing the dishes, folding laundry or walking the dog.

Use relaxation techniques 

Relaxation strategies can reduce the feelings of tension and stress in your body. Practice strategies such as taking long deep breaths and focusing on your breathing, or progressively working around your body and relaxing your muscles as you go.

Learn assertiveness skills 

Assertiveness skills can be learnt through self-help books or by attending courses. These skills ensure that anger is channelled and expressed in clear and respectful ways. Being assertive means being clear with others about what your needs and wants are, feeling okay about asking for them, but respecting the other person's needs and concerns as well and being prepared to negotiate. Avoid using words like "never" or "always" (for example, "You're always late!"), as these statements are usually inaccurate, make you feel as though your anger is justified, and don't leave much possibility for the problem to be solved.

Try to acknowledge what is making you angry

Acknowledge that a particular issue has made you angry by admitting it to yourself and others. Telling someone that you felt angry when they did or said something is more helpful than just acting out the anger.

Make sure you think about who you express your anger to, and take care that you aren't just dumping your anger on the people closest to you, or on people who are less powerful than you. For example, don't yell at your partner, children, or dog when you are really angry with your boss.

Sometimes it can help to write things down. What is happening in your life? How do you feel about the things that are happening? Writing about these topics can sometimes help give you some distance and perspective and help you understand your feelings. Work out some options for changing your situation.

Rehearsing anger management skills 

Use your imagination to practice anger management strategies. Imagine yourself in a situation that usually sets off your anger. Imagine how you could behave in that situation without getting angry. Think about a situation where you did get angry. Replay the situation in your mind and imagine resolving the situation without anger.

Try rehearsing some anger management strategies with a friend. Ask them to help you act out a situation where you get angry, so that you can practice other ways to think and behave. Practice saying things in an assertive way.

Of course these days pass and it’s important to remember to use different relaxation techniques to overcome the affects of your stressful day. 

Maintaining composure under Stress

Although it’s easy to lose composure and drop the ball when you’re under pressure, it’s important to hold it back.  If you lose it, the results can cause even more stress in the long run.  You may say something you regret or do something you’ll want to take back later.  Remember to stop and take a few breaths before you react when under times of pressure.  After all … a person under stress doesn’t always make the best decision.

Why Consistency is the Key

A stressful day isn’t an excuse to go to town with your credit card, eat whatever your heart desires, or ignore your usual routines.  These disciplines are important to maintain and should especially be followed when you’ve had a challenging day.  How would you feel if you had a bad day and you ignored you usual routine.  It may feel good at the time but in a few days you may experience even more stress and feel like a failure … unable to complete the tasks you’d set out.  Consistency means to complete your routine no matter the cost.  It’s important to be consistent, at all times.

Stress and Failure

Although consistency is the key, it doesn’t always turn out the best.  We all experience times of weakness and have felt the sting of failure.  When faced with failure you can do one of 2 things:

1.      You can spend days thinking of contemplating your failure or how you handled your stressful situation allowing it to compound on your current stress and depression or,

2.      You can get up, brush yourself off, reset your goals and keep going.

The past is exactly that … the past.  Sure we have to pay for previous decisions, but it’s up to us how we handle our future.

Stress and Premature Aging

A study published by National Academy of Sciences found that stress can cause a person’s immune system to age prematurely.  The study discussed the caps on the end of chromosomes called telomeres.  As a cell divides the telomeres in that cell shorten.  When the telomeres become too short the cell can no longer replenish itself. This is why we age, and the reason we are unable to live forever.

The research showed a test that checked the telomeres and stress levels of 58 healthy pre-menopausal women.  The results were amazing.  On average, women that experience constant stress had an immune system 10 years older than their current age.  Although the study explained they weren’t exactly sure of the impact they did have a very plausible theory that Hormones released during stress are shortening the telomeres and cutting the life span of cells.  Imagine for a moment the number of illnesses your body will attract if your immune system is permanently compromised.

The Good News on Stress and Relaxation Techniques

Being aware how stress affects the body is the first part.  The second comes through finding real positive Natural Stress Relief Techniques.  The greatest ways to get control of stress come from surrounding your self with friends and family, maintaining a positive outlook, consistent exercise and effective relaxation techniques. 

Effective Relaxation Techniques should include: Relaxation Breathing Techniques, guided meditation/ stress relief CD’s, Relaxation Programs and Visualization Techniques.  Each method is a great way to release any built up tension and prevent the effects of long term stress.  This combined with a healthy diet and adequate sleep will make all the difference to you living a long and healthy life.

To simplify, stress is separated into 3 different areas and methods of stress relief can be applied to one and sometimes all.

Here are the different categories of stress we experience:

—> Acute Stress – This is the most common form of stress and is short lived stress that can be either positive or negative.  An example of positive acute stress would be riding on a roller coaster or doing something that feels exhilarating.  An example of negative acute stress would be meeting a deadline, loosing an important deal or having a small accident in your car.  Although acute stress is short lived if you experience several types of acute stress in one day it is important to find successful stress relief techniques to release any tension.  There are many natural stress relief techniques you can use to release tension like; socializing with friends, reading a book, taking a hot bath or relaxing in front of the T.V. 

—> Episodic Acute Stress – Episodic acute stress comes from a constant series of negative stress, constant worry, poor time management, excessive competitiveness, general impatience and from over committing.  Episodic stress is brought on by the individual as a reaction to their environment and situations placed upon them.  A person that experiences episodic acute stress may always worry about the worst case scenario (and usually attract it). They may think they have to be the best at whatever they do and experience tension when they aren’t or they may simply be the person that finds it hard to say no and over commits themselves.  It is important to find a way to identify the cause of the stress and find methods to break the cycle of stress.  Stress relief techniques range from listening to meditation/ stress relief CD’s, Stress Relief Programs that can help identify the cause and offer solutions and seeking professional advice.   Working with a person that experiences episodic acute stress takes time and patience as it is more intense than acute stress.

—> Chronic Stress – Chronic stress is the type of stress that wears people out, day after day, year after year.  It is the type of stress that destroys lives, families and causes permanent damage.  It is the stress people face when they are in job or career they hate (but feel they cannot leave), a marriage where they are unhappy, a violent long term relationship and a lifestyle that crushes their individuality and independence.  Chronic stress can create major change to an individual’s personality, outlook or deep seated beliefs. Chronic Stress is responsible for suicide, violence, and other terminal illnesses. One of the worst aspects of Chronic Stress is people simply get used to it or give up and it becomes an everyday reality. Chronic stress is often difficult to treat and definitely cannot be changed overnight.  Within certain families it may take generations to break the cycle of chronic stress and may require long term consultation, combined with specific stress relief techniques to overcome the long term issues.

The light at the end of the tunnel

On a positive front most people experience the first 2 types of stress that can be easily overcome.  By using a variety of stress management techniques you can develop skills to help you to release your unwanted tension and stress at will.  A good stress relief program will show you specific methods to overcome and deal with stress in the future.  Even something simple as relaxation breathing techniques or visualization techniques can have massive short term and long term benefits.

You see, stress (especially chronic stress) can be so draining on your life and lifestyle.  If left unattended it can slowly affect your mind, body and eventually your spirit.  With this in mind it is important to understand and acknowledge when you’re under stress, and as mentioned earlier have a really good stress relief plan.

Listen to your body’s Stress

The first step is to pay attention to your body and its messages.  Here are some of the tell tale signs of stress:

—> You find yourself getting angry easily and acting short at others,

—> You feel tension building up around your shoulders and temple,

—> It’s becoming hard to sleep at night or you need drugs or medication to sleep

—> You’re grinding your teeth when you’re sleeping

—> You constantly feel tired

—> You’ve had a cold or flu for ages and can’t seem to shake it.

All of these may be signs you’re stressed and need relaxation techniques to experience relief.

Have a Game Plan for Stress Relief

Let’s face it, we all experience stress in our lives, but the key is to manage it before it builds up too much and causes damage. Here are some of the natural stress relief techniques you can include in your stress relief plan:

—> Avoid negative stress – If you know that you’re going to place yourself in a stressful situation in the first place you can just say ‘No’.  Many people do this in their work environment by over committing themselves.

—> Relaxation breathing techniques – This is a good way of eliminating your stress instantly.  Check out this technique here.

—> Stress relief CD / Meditation CD – A Relaxation / Meditation CD will guide you through a set process for relaxation.  This should be used regularly for maximum benefits.

—> Regular Exercise – This is great at dealing with stress (especially for men).  If you haven’t exercised for a while it’s important to start with low intensity and build up over time.  For maximum benefits you should also change your diet to eat heaps of healthy food.

—> Visualization techniques for relaxation – If you find it difficult to sleep at night then visualization techniques could be just the thing.  You may learn how to do this or be lead through a process by using a stress relief program or meditation CD.

—> Stress relief program – A good stress relief program will include a process for meditation, stress relief techniques and a journal to record your thoughts and progress.

—> Other stress management skills – This includes spending time with friends, time saving solutions, taking a hot bath, reading a book and watching a movie/ your favorite show.

Set aside time for stress relief today … you never know when you might have to go out and save the world after all