February 3, 2008

Stop Your Divorce Before it Begins

Don't wait until it's too late to get your relationship back on track. Did you know that most divorces aren't really necessay. The biggest reason they even happen at all is a lack of understanding of how to get out of the destructive behavioral loops that tear couples apart.

 

The biggest secret to not only preventing relationship meltdown but also re-igniting passion and love is to recognize that judgment and blame are the things that you need to get rid of.

 

Until you have released the need for judgment, you will always have it reflected back to you in your relationships. This is one of the main causes of stress. All too often we assume that we know what others mean by what they say or do without bothering to gain a clear understanding of what’s really going on. Inevitably this leads to a breakdown in communication and conflict.

 

Stress management techniques for relationships

 

The biggest secret to stress free relationships is to master the skill of being agreeable! If you think about it just for a moment this makes a lot of sense. How did you feel the last time someone disagreed with what you though, said or did?

 

Did you thank them, give them a big hug and then ask for more disapproval? Probably not! The bottom line is that people don’t like being disagreed with. This is what leads to arguments and conflict.

 

You have a choice every time you relate with another person. You can either be agreeable in nature or you can be disagreeable. The first choice will cause people to be more relaxed and enjoy your company. The second creates stress and frustration.

 

It costs nothing to agree with someone else’s point of view even if you think it’s ridiculous. Who are we to judge how another person views their life and the world around them. Conflict always arises from disagreement’s which then leads to power struggles.

 

This means that either one or all parties are trying to prove that they are right and someone else is wrong. This is a no win scenario because if one person is made wrong, then the outcome is tension and resentment.

 

So what do you do if you disagree with what someone is saying? Ask if it’s ok to share your opinion. If the answer is no then to keep your relationships stress free keep your mouth shut. Changes topics if you need to or go do something fun together but let it go and move on.

 

The next secret to effective stress management in relationships is to master the skill of understanding.

 

The key here is to learn to be a good listener. Can you remember a time recently when you were talking with someone and they either interrupted you before you finished talking and started talking about themselves or completely ignored what you said and talked about something totally unrelated?

 

I know that’s happened to me thousands of times. Well guess what, if you didn’t like it I can guarantee you that others won’t like it if you do it to them.

 

By listening attentively to what others say and not interrupting you will prevent the possibility of causing stress and tension in your relationships because the people you are communicating with will feel seen and heard.

 

This builds trust and respect which are two of the most important ingredients of a happy, healthy and productive relationship.

 

Here are 4 stress management tips to master the skill of understanding:

       

  • Don’t interrupt unless you have something urgent to attend to. Then excuse yourself politely and make a time to meet with them that you can give your undivided attention.
  • Look them in the eye and keep your body language open.
  • Only ask questions that are relevant to the topic. This lets the person who is talking know that you are really listening to them.
  • Never assume you know what someone means, always ask for clarity before sharing you’re opinion. Don’t be afraid to keep asking questions until you are 100% sure about what is being said.

The best time to seek to be understood is only after you have taken the time to first understand them. Then they are more receptive to what you have to say.

 

This skill is one of the most important in building good bonds between people that are stress free. There is nothing more powerful than letting others know that they matter.

 

Happy, healthy and stress free relationships are no accident. They are skillfully developed over time by people who care about people.

 

These secrets will only work if you apply them. The more you apply them the greater the stress relief you’ll have in relationships. I know this for a fact because they have been working for me for more than 15 years.

 

To Your Great Life and Health,

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December 19, 2007

How To Gain Time and Energy Back in Your Day

Let’s face it one of the biggest challenges facing busy people today is how to fit everything you need to do into a day. From the demands of raising a family, meeting deadlines at work, giving quality time to a relationship, exercising, looking after your health and taking time-out each day for yourself it can be a struggle to find enough time to even get a good nights sleep.

 

There’s a ton of material already available on how to maximize your time and get more done each day through setting priorities, being more organized and planning for the future so let’s look at some more left-of-field strategies that’ll give you an even better opportunity to gain back precious time and energy while giving long-term stress relief.

 

Stress Management Tips to Save Time and Energy 

 

Waste Not, Want Not

 

We all have the same 24 hours a day at our disposal. The difference is how wisely you use it. Why waste a precious second on something that has no value or meaning in your life? The more you choose to use the time you do have that’s brings you joy and fulfilment, the more satisfying your life will be.

 

Live Each Moment Fully

 

What do you think is going to matter most when you’re laying on your deathbed looking back over your life? Will it be how many sales you made at work? Or how clean you kept your house? Or how many things you didn’t get done? Probably not! Make each moment count as you never know when your last moment will be.

 

Don’t Forget to Take Time-Out Each Day

 

No matter how busy or hectic your life gets it’s vital that you give yourself 5, 10 or 20 minutes a day just being with yourself. This time allows you to reflect on your day and do whatever it is that brings you joy or helps you to relax. Relaxation techniques that progressively relax the muscles of your body while calming your mind are well worth investing time in.

 

Stop Telling Yourself You Don’t Have Enough Time

 

The more you affirm what you don’t have, the more you will attract it into your life. One of life’s laws is that what you focus on you get. So when you focus on what you don’t have, you will have even less in the future. Instead, start affirming that you have an abundance of time and energy to get everything done that matters.

 

Stop Wearing a Watch

 

Put away your watch for the next seven days in either a cupboard or dresser.  I did this for a period of three months and by the end of this time my internal clock had me waking up in the morning, getting to appointments and being where I needed to be in perfect timing. At first, this may stress you out a little but after 7 days you’ll experience a deep sense of freedom at not having to be a clock watcher all the time.

 

A Stress Management Saying From The Wise

 

A wise man once said that money may come and go. If you lose your money, you can always make it back, but when you lose a minute, it’s gone forever. To live a life without regret is to know that you have followed the path of your heart and spirit without hesitation.

 

Don’t waste another moment letting the apparent lack of time be the reason you live a life of stress and anxiety. Stress is the biggest killer on the planet and you have the power to get rid of the majority of your stress just through learning some simple stress relief techniques to enjoy a happier, healthier, relaxed and more productive life.

 

To Your Great Life and Health,

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August 13, 2007

Here’s why Stress is all about Control?

Control.  We all like to feel we have it in certain parts of our lives.  But is there such a thing as control.  Does it really exist? 

After all … when we begin to loose control we react in many different ways, most of which are linked directly to stress. Consider for one moment the symptoms of an anxiety attack.  Sure there’s the sweaty palms, increased heart rate, dizziness, short rapid breaths, and many other symptoms.  But what would be the cause?  It is loss of control.

If you’re a sufferer of anxiety panic attacks you know they begin when you feel like you’re loosing control.  This is understandable.  We all like to feel comfort or certainty over the outcome of certain situations.

Even 9 out of 10 cases of work related stress are from people feeling like they’ve lost control of their desired result.    

But in reality, control is just perception.  The world is spinning out of control, there’s no certainty you will wake up in the morning and you never really know what’s around the next corner.  So what am I saying?  Well one things for sure, I’m not trying to freak you out!  What I’m saying is when you try to control your life and things don’t go well the best way to handle it to relax. 

A good relaxation technique to use when things aren’t going the way you expected is to take a few quick breaths, count to ten and think of the best way to fix it.  Things do happen and it’s up to you how you react.  A level head and a level mind will achieve great things. 

One of the greatest stress management tips someone told me was to just let go every once in a while, especially when the pressure is building.  If you feel like it’s all building up try some stress relief techniques like listening to a stress relief CD or stress relief exercises.  This will make sure you releasing the tension and will prevent any long term build-up. 

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August 9, 2007

5 Easy Stress Management Tips for Children

Is your child stressed out? Some people think only adults experience stress, but it affects our children too. Helping your child to get through the tough times is easier when you have some targeted stress management tips to fall back on.

We often view our kids as happy-go-lucky beings without a care. But children can also experience stress with no idea of how to get immediate stress relief . Not only do they get anxious about things in their own young world– school, friends, peer pressure–but they also can be deeply affected by outside factors such as war, natural disasters and other unsettling world events.

In fact, the list of contributors to childhood stress can be quite long. Many stressors are the result of family problems, like divorce, a death or a parent's job loss but there are also less obvious triggers such as moving to a new city or the birth of a new sibling.

More on 5 Easy Stress Management Tips for Children

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August 8, 2007

Exercise your way to Stress Relief

The benefits of exercise are endless.  Exercise helps you stay fit, healthy, gives you more energy and makes you feel more balanced. 

It’s of no surprise that exercise is also an excellent method for Stress Relief.  An article recently shown in the daily tribune explains why. 

This article discusses Therapist Clarence Wardell Jnr, where he mentions the many patients he treats for depression and anxiety. 

"Research shows that regular exercise reduces stress and anxiety symptoms," Wardell said.  He explained the release of endorphins triggered by exercise acts like an anti-depressant, what some people call "runner's high." There are many specific types of exercises that are even used as relaxation techniques for athletes.

What types of exercise are best for Stress Relief? 

There is many a stress relief exercise dependant on your level of fitness.  The key here is not so much in the physical activity, it more about the intensity and the consistency.  You must exercise at least 3 times a week to really experience the benefits.  If you are in doubt of your level of physical fitness you should consult you local doctor before attempting any type of physical activity.

If you were looking for tips on how to avoid stress at work than this is definitely one of them.

If you feel really pressed for time how about you duck off to your local gym during your lunch break for a quick work-out?  This can be used as a great stress management tip as it gives you an opportunity to release any built up stress you may experience during the day to prevent any long term stress build up and anxiety panic attacks. 

Remember, the benefits of exercise are really endless and can assist with depression, stress and anxiety.

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August 6, 2007

Easy Stress Management for Couples

Easy Stress Management for Couples 

Imagine how your life might be if you knew how to finally stop the stress in relationships that saps your strength, drains your energy and ruins your productivity! 

Until you have released the need for judgment, you will always have it reflected back to you in your relationships. This is one of the main causes of stress. All too often we assume that we know what others mean by what they say or do without bothering to gain a clear understanding of what’s really going on. Inevitably this leads to a breakdown in communication and conflict.  

Stress management techniques for relationships 

The biggest secret to stress free relationships is to master the skill of being agreeable! If you think about it just for a moment this makes a lot of sense. How did you feel the last time someone disagreed with what you though, said or did?  

Did you thank them, give them a big hug and then ask for more disapproval? Probably not! The bottom line is that people don’t like being disagreed with. This is what leads to arguments and conflict.  

You have a choice every time you relate with another person. You can either be agreeable in nature or you can be disagreeable. The first choice will cause people to be more relaxed and enjoy your company. The second creates stress and frustration.  

It costs nothing to agree with someone else’s point of view even if you think it’s ridiculous. Who are we to judge how another person views their life and the world around them. Conflict always arises from disagreement’s which then leads to power struggles.  

This means that either one or all parties are trying to prove that they are right and someone else is wrong. This is a no win scenario because if one person is made wrong, then the outcome is tension and resentment.  

So what do you do if you disagree with what someone is saying? Ask if it’s ok to share your opinion. If the answer is no then to keep your relationships stress free keep your mouth shut. Changes topics if you need to or go do something fun together but let it go and move on.  

The next secret to effective stress management in relationships is to master the skill of understanding. 

The key here is to learn to be a good listener. Can you remember a time recently when you were talking with someone and they either interrupted you before you finished talking and started talking about themselves or completely ignored what you said and talked about something totally unrelated?  

I know that’s happened to me thousands of times. Well guess what, if you didn’t like it I can guarantee you that others won’t like it if you do it to them. 

By listening attentively to what others say and not interrupting you will prevent the possibility of causing stress and tension in your relationships because the people you are communicating with will feel seen and heard.  

This builds trust and respect which are two of the most important ingredients of a happy, healthy and productive relationship.  

Here are 4 stress management tips to master the skill of understanding: 

1.       Don’t interrupt unless you have something urgent to attend to. Then excuse yourself politely and make a time to meet with them that you can give your undivided attention. 

2.       Look them in the eye and keep your body language open 

3.       Only ask questions that are relevant to the topic. This lets the person who is talking know that you are really listening to them. 

4.       Never assume you know what someone means, always ask for clarity before sharing you’re opinion. Don’t be afraid to keep asking questions until you are 100% sure about what is being said.  

The best time to seek to be understood is only after you have taken the time to first understand them. Then they are more receptive to what you have to say.  

This skill is one of the most important in building good bonds between people that are stress free. There is nothing more powerful than letting others know that they matter.  

Happy, healthy and stress free relationships are no accident they are skillfully developed over time by people who care about people.  

These stress management tips will only work if you apply them. The more you apply them, the less stress you’ll have in relationships. I know this for a fact because they have been working for me for more than 15 years. 

To Your Great Life and Health,

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August 2, 2007

Stress, is Stress, is Stress, is … you get the picture.

We all experience different types of stress everyday.  There’s stress from deadlines, conflicts, personal fears, misunderstandings, new tasks and public speaking just to name a few.  With all the different types of stress it’s understandable people need different stress management tips to cope.

But very few people consider what your body interprets as stress.  Consider for a moment the symptoms of stress and how similar they are to anxiety attack symptomssweaty palms, rapid breathing, butterflies, nervousness, muscle tension, loss of sleep, etc.  These symptoms can be experienced under negative stress, but can also be experienced during good times; For example when you meet someone you like, or when you’ve been given a promotion at work, if you’ve won a prize or you’re entering a competition.  The key here is not actually about the stress it’s how you handle it and release it.  It could be a good Stress Relief CD, some sort of sport, relaxing with friends, reading a book or even sleeping.  There are even really positive links between yoga and stress relief.  These are all very good and there are many other stress management tips available on the internet for stress relief if you look.  There are even some really good Relaxation Techniques for Kids which are very important especially when kids are going through that age of development.

The key here (as I mentioned earlier) is how you handle it and release it.  Good stress and bad stress needs to be released eventually.  Better to release it before it impacts on your body.

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July 22, 2007

Natural Stress Relief is one Breath away

With so many Stress Relief Techniques it’s time we breathe a breath of fresh air into them … literally.  There’s a simple, cheap and effective Natural Stress Relief technique that takes you only seconds to do and will break the cycle of stress instantly.

What is it Donny I hear you all asking?  This Simple Stress Relief Exercise is … Deep Breathing. 

Before you think ‘What a Rip’ and close me down just read what I have to say.  Deep breathing not only relaxes your entire body it also increases the flow of oxygen to the brain which improves your ability to think.  When you breathe deeply you also stretch the muscles in your back, arms, legs and abdomen.  This is also one of many excellent relaxation techniques for anxiety to be used when suffering an anxiety panic attack. 

How does it work? Well, Begin by breathing in through your nose for the count of 5 (don’t count out load) hold it for 5, and breath out for 5.  As you feel that relaxation kicking in increase it to 7 or even 10.  If you’ve ever wondered how to avoid stress at work then here’s an example of good stress management tips to use. 

By doing this for only one or two minutes at a time (yes that’s less than 1% of your day) will give your mind and body a massive time out to allow you to recover, refocus and get back into the task at hand.

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July 18, 2007

Positive Thoughts = Stress Management

Finding the right Stress Management Technique it’s all in the mindset.  What do I mean when I say mindset?  Let me explain.  If you take on a new task you’ve never done before and you don’t really think it will work, how do you approach it?  Do you run in arms open expecting great things, or do you hold back a bit expecting it to fail.  The way you look at or approach a task is in your mindset.  If you expect something to fail usually you will be rewarded with … failure.  But of course you knew it would fail, Right? 

This is the same with Stress Management.  If your try Stress Management Activities and you think they suck even before you do them, then you’ll more than likely confirm they suck without really giving them a go. 

Keep an open mind.  You never know what Stress Management Tips could work.  It could be the difference to an excellent result where you feel complete Stress Relief, or feeling even more stressed and out of control.

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July 4, 2007

Knowledge is the key to Stress Management

Many people that experience stress everyday are really unsure how to handle it. One of the secrets to handling stress is through understanding what stress is and how you are experiencing it.

By reading Stress Management Articles you will begin to gain an insight on stress and may even discover a few Stress Management Activities. Quite a few Stress Management Techniques are readily available if you are prepared to put in the necessary work to understanding your own unique situation. In reality, Stress Management skills are learnt over time and once applied make a massive difference on your out look to life and relaxation. One of the key ways I began to understand Stress Management was by reading books, articles and trying what they suggested. The main Stress Management Technique I use is focussed breathing, where you focus on a point and control the speed and depth of your breathing. I am aware a lot of other people have also had success with this method. Overall, look for many different types of Stress Management Tips and find the one that works best for you.

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