Without a doubt one of the biggest time and energy killers is anger. The more time you spend indulging in it the less time you have to live a happy, productive and enjoyable life.   Learning simple anger management techniques to become instantly calm and centred is a skill worth investing time in building. There are two sides to anger. On one hand it can be the cause of tremendous pain and suffering. It can turn into hatred or violence in the blink of an eye and destroy everything we love and care about, or it can turn inward and become bitterness and despair. 

  Anger Management Exercise 

The secret to understanding how to prevent anger from ruining your life is to understand that anger arises when you don’t feel loved or accepted.  Just by knowing this you can start to use your mind to explore ways to give these things to yourself instead of expecting others to make you feel better.  The moment you do this, you break the blame game cycle of action – reaction (anger) – blame (result) – guilt (regret). 

The simplest way to really start to change this pattern within yourself is to help others change it in them. For example, the next time someone you know gets angry you can stop the blame game cycle by helping them to feel loved and accepted.  This might mean asking them questions to find out what’s upsetting them, or giving them space to vent their feelings, or even just listening to what they are saying and not giving an opinion unless it’s asked for. 

Don’t expect that this will be as easy to do with yourself. If loving and accepting yourself was that easy wouldn’t everyone be doing it? Here’s some more anger management tips: 

Stop blaming others.  It’s not the governments fault that you don’t get paid enough; It’s not your partners fault that you don’t feel loved and it’s certainly not anyone else’s fault that you don’t always get what you want.  

Don’t accept any sympathy.  If you get loads of sympathy or attention from others when you get angry, then tell them to stop doing it. As long as they keep feeding your behaviour with sympathy, you’ll continue to use anger as a way to get attention. 

Don’t let anger be an excuse that you procrastinate or give-up on life.   Throwing a tantrum about the way things are won’t help you get any closer to what you really do want to have, be or do. Use the energy of your anger constructively by channelling it into consistent action that gets you results that matter.
 

Vent your anger with compassion.  Give yourself permission to let it out, safely. It’s far better to let your anger out, than to bottle it up.  If you’re worried about what others might think, then go to a secluded beach or park and stamp your feet, or yell at the ocean.  

Nature won’t care if you get upset with it. If you don’t have the luxury of outdoor space, then scream into a pillow in your bedroom, with the door closed, or beat your pillow on the bed until you feel exhausted.  Don’t do anything with your anger for 24 hours.  

If you’re angry because of what someone has said or done, then don’t say anything to them for 24 hours. By then you both will have calmed down enough to talk about things calmly. Realize you don’t have to get mad to take action.  

Anger can be a very powerful motivator for taking action. The downside of this is that if you’re not angry, then you probably won’t do anything. Get into the habit of taking action without being angry and you will find that you won’t need to rely on it so much to do the things you need to do.  Don’t let anger be the reason your life stays miserable. Take whatever action you must to feel good about yourself and the way you behave. Start to allow more joy into your life by doing things that makes your heart sing. You are in control of your life, not your emotions. Practice anger management techniques every chance you get and pretty soon you will be free to enjoy a life unlimited!